Red Flags for Divorce: Before & After You Say ‘I Do’

Before you get married, it is normal to have doubts, and no marriage is perfect. During your marriage, couples should expect to have disagreements or to hit a rough patch. However, not all doubts should be dismissed—they may be a red flag that you should heed concerning the state of your relationship. In this article, we will discuss some of the warning signs you may notice before or after you get married that may mean you have something to actually worry about.

Red Flags You May Notice Before You Get Married

If you notice any of the following issues within your relationship, that can be a red flag for divorce as these are some of the leading causes of divorce in the U.S.

  • You have different core beliefs. Amongst the top causes of divorce are a lack of compatibility and different core beliefs or values. If you and your partner do not agree on kids or have different viewpoints on religion, core values, or important life decisions (i.e. where to live, what matters in life, etc.), you may have problems down the line (or even now). These differing views can cause arguments, issues with in-laws or family, and problems when raising children.
  • You and your partner have communication issues. Healthy communication is very important in a relationship. Both parties should feel that they have a voice in the relationship; it is also imperative that you feel like you can resolve disagreements healthily and discuss important issues with one another.
  • You and your partner disagree about money. Financial problems are another common cause of divorce. People want to be financially stable and feel safe in their relationships financially. If you have different spending and saving habits or there is a disparity in your incomes, you may have issues involving resentment, equality, etc.
  • You and/or your partner have had issues with infidelity. If a couple struggles with trust, that can be a major red flag.

A common misconception is that someone asking for a prenuptial agreement is a red flag. However, that cannot be further from the truth. A prenup can benefit more than hurt a couple and drafting a prenup can give you the opportunity to discuss and address some of the red flags you noticed (concerning finances, spending habits, etc.) as well as improve your communication skills.

Red Flags You May Notice During Your Marriage

In some cases, a partner may even feel blindsided by their partner. However, marriages typically begin to break down bit by bit, and you may notice red flags that appear over time. Here are 5 warning signs (or red flags) that your divorce may be right for you and/or your partner.

  • You are not happy. Lasting unhappiness can be an indication that you have shut down and that something is wrong.
  • You and your partner have more negative than positive interactions. As we mentioned, couples may cite irreconcilable differences as a reason for divorce if they are constantly arguing and at odds. While arguments are bound to happen and it can be good to argue at times, arguments about the same thing or trivial concerns (that happen regularly without resolve) may mean that you and your spouse have lost trust or see one another as adversaries (instead of partners).
  • You and/or your partner avoid each other. Significant breakdowns in communication can lead to arguments or you and your spouse avoiding each other. Stonewalling each other or not speaking is not healthy and can be a serious warning for couples. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggs shells or not speak for fear of criticism in your relationship.
  • You both lived more like roommates than a couple. As we mentioned, a lack of emotional or physical intimacy can lead to divorce because couples feel unfulfilled. If you are drifting apart, this can be a red flag.
  • Your priorities have changed. People and their priorities change, but this can have an impact on your marriage if it is a significant shift. Major career changes, pay cuts, or changes in core beliefs or principles (concerning religion, the desire for kids, etc.) can lead to divorce.

At Nelson, Taylor & Associates, our attorneys offer clients comprehensive legal services. To discuss drafting a prenup or filing for divorce with a member of our team, call (801) 901-7046 or complete this online form.